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 So THAT'S why families fight so much at Christmas! Strict schedules and cramped conditions cause 'hypercopresence'
1. Families fight at Christmas because of a condition which afflicts them when they are forced to live in close quarters having spent all year apart, scientists claim 'hypercopresence' occurs when families are in each other's pockets 24 hours a day even though they have not seen each other in months. Over Christmas they have to share the same house, the same bathroom and have to put up with young children stampeding around the place.
2. Family members become crankiest when their autonomy has been taken away from them by the tight schedule of walks, meals and games. Professor Melanie Booth-Butterfield, a communications expert at the University of West Virginia, said that rows occurred when people tried to 'strike out' and reclaim their independence.
3. She said that hypercopresence happens when you get what she called a 'large dose of family at once'. Professor Melanie Booth-Butterfield likened the phenomenon to a long distance relationship - only instead of your lover coming home, you have to spend Christmas with your family. She said: 'When you are in a relationship you expect to be together some of the time. You don't tend to expect to be together 24/7. Hypercopresence happens when things are very controlled and scheduled; you are together in the car, the hotel room, always with other people. It's the idea that you are too close and you can't get away from people. 'Instead of having autonomy to be able to get away when you want you have to coordinate with other people.'
4. Professor Booth-Butterfield said that pressures at Christmas time came from what she called the 'ABCs'; alcohol, bathrooms and children. The more people there are and the smaller the house was, the more pressure there was likely to be. People who are more individualistic will find hypercopresence more of a strain more quickly, she said.
5. Professor Booth-Butterfield said: 'With alcohol people start to drink early and alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Humour and behaviour in general may become more over the top. 'There may be extra friction when some family members are drinking but others aren’t You have normal social drinking, then you add these other factors and it can lead to conflict.'
6. Bathrooms create tension because there is often a queue, especially in the morning. Professor Booth-Butterfield said: 'Normally you can shower for as long as you want but at Christmas there is pressure to get out of the shower. 'With children there is a great potential for pressure, especially during holiday times. Kids can be active and loud and unruly. Parents put extra pressure on themselves with family that the kids perform well, that they look good and have good eating manners. The kids add to the number of heads under each roof. Also parents pressure their kids into acting well.'
7. Professor Booth-Butterfield said that there were a number of tactics families should use to avoid this kind of tension, starting with lightening up and not taking offence so easily. A big tip is that you should have multiple conversations with relatives during the year and not one big talk over Christmas. She said: 'There are ways to have similar conversations so it's not a huge: 'I've been waiting to talk to you about this'. Another tip is to balance family time with autonomous time and letting relatives go off and do their own thing is vital. This also gives them time to vent their frustrations to their partners or brothers and sisters. Professor Booth-Butterfield urged families to loosen up their schedule and not to cram in so much.
8. She said: 'Think about the sequencing, ask when people are arriving and loosen up the timing of things. Simplify things too and give people different responsibilities. Have different people take responsibility for different aspects of Christmas. 'One person could do breakfast, another does lunch. Even things like doing the laundry can help. There's tremendous pressure on the host family. Assigning responsibilities to everyone is a good is a good idea, even the kids. Chances are they have responsibilities when they are at home.'
9. On the tricky subject of mobile phones, Professor Booth-Butterfield said it was 'not realistic' to ask young people to have them off all the time. She said there was some research which pointed to 'generational differences' when it came to mobiles and that younger people used social media to keep in touch with their friends. A compromise would be to suggest having some time when people can use phones and some time when they can't, Professor Booth-Butterfield said.
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The subject of this lesson is 'Love Actually'.
Speaking
Words and their meaning
Watching
Writing
Grammar
