The Salesman
Henry Leech was a salesman. He was a good salesman and sold lots of vacuum cleaners. One week, the manager sent Henry into the countryside to sell.
He drive out of town and stopped at a farmhouse. He knocked on the door and the farmer’s wife opened it. Henry started into his speech immediately.
“Mam, how much time do you spend sweeping the floors? “ “A lot of time. This is a farm and things get dirty quickly.” said the woman.
“And how much time do you spend beating the carpets?” asked Henry.
“A lot of time. This house gets dusty and my dog also lays on them”
“Well” said Henry, “This is your lucky day.” Henry showed her his vacuum cleaner and said, “You can clean the house in 5 minutes with this!”
The farmer’s wife didn’t look interested. Henry took out a big bag of dirt. He opened it and threw it all over the floor. The farmer’s wife was very surprised. Before she could speak Henry said, “ Mam, if this machine doesn’t pick up every last piece of dirt, I will eat all of it!!!!!” The farmer’s wife looked at Henry and said,
“WELL, I WILL GET YOU A SPOON.
WE HAVE NO ELECTRICITY.”
The Smartest Man in the World
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were flying on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.
Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute and yelled to the passengers that they better jump, and he himself bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one of the parachutes and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live to save other’s lives,” and jumped out. The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Do not worry Father. The smartest man in the world just took off with my back pack.”