Step 4 - Task

Task
Your friend Sasha is an art student. She wants to sketch at the V&A.
She’s written a first draft of an email and has asked you for help.
Look at Sasha’s email asking for permission. List all the things that are wrong.

To: v.partridge@vanda.co.uk
From: sasha.price@myself.nl
Subject: Hello!

Hiya Mr Partridge!
I love your museum and I really like the exhibition ‘Colours’ that is on at the moment.
I saw your no sketching sign and I was really disappointed.
I’m studying art at school and I was wondering if you could give me permission to sketch one of the paintings.
It’d be really good for my final year project.
If you could reply soon, that’d be good.

Cheers!
Sasha Price.


To be able to rewrite this email here are some helpful tips:
Tips: How to write a formal email

  1. Begin Dear Sir/Madam, or with the name of the person e.g. Dear Victor Partridge.
  2. Choose a suitable subject for the email. (not Hello!)
  3. Use phrases like I was wondering/would it be possible/it would be really helpful if
  4. Be clear about what you are asking permission for and why.
  5. If you want a reply, use ‘I look forward to hearing from you’.
  6. Sign off with Best wishes/Kind regards/Yours faithfully/Yours sincerely
  7. If you know the name of the person e.g. Dear Mr Partridge – use Yours sincerely/Best wishes/Kind regards.
    If you don’t know the name e.g. Dear Sir/Madam – use Yours faithfully.

Copy and paste the text of Sasha's email.
Rewrite the email and use no more than 100 words.

Answer