## Start a conversation with the student

It may not be easy to talk to an individual student, but it could make a big difference. If you’re concerned about a student, keep the lines of communication open with him or her. For example, don’t be afraid to ask what’s wrong if the student starts missing classes. But always make sure you are well-prepared.

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#### Preparation

Here are some tips for preparing a conversation with an individual student:

- Be yourself, and don’t prejudge the outcome.
- Use the knowledge you already have of your students’ world. It is often more extensive than you think.
- If you feel that you know too little about this world, consult the sources listed in module 6.
- But no matter what, talk to your student. If necessary ask them to tell you about their world.

#### The converation

A difficult conversation conducted properly proceeds for example as follows:

1. Start by trying to understand rather than trying to make yourself understood
2. Establish a connection:
   - Your conversation partner is not a ‘case’ but a person with hopes, expectations, problems and interests;
   - Who is he/she? What is his/her story?
3. Show interest and be patient.
4. Avoid attempts at persuasion, moralising, judgment and rejection.
5. Set boundaries and identify risks.

Finally, here are two interesting tips for engaging with a student:

1. Leave your attitudes, opinions and assumptions at home, since they are likely to unduly influence the start of the conversation and colour the information you are given.
2. Be aware that you cannot solve every problem. As a teacher your influence only goes so far. Share your experiences with colleagues, and know your limits.